Mother-in-LAW sounds way to formal and official of a term to give to my husband's mom.

Nobody knows this but me....but in my mind, I think of her as my "mother-in-love".
For real.

In-laws....by definition.....are supposed to be annoying, ridiculous, unresponsible, irritating, unreasonable and down right unbearable to be around.

Mine aren't.

Either I married in to the wrong family.....

Or I am one of the lucky brides in the world.

hmmmmmm. let's think here......

My mother-in-law, before she became my mother-in-law, had every reason to believe that I was a horrible influence on her son. Did she think that way? Maybe. But I'll never know if she did. Because she never treated me as anything other than a welcome guest at the dinner table, or an intriguing conversationalist....never an outsider trying to step in.

And the funny thing about that is that I would never actually consider myself good at making conversation.....especially at the dinner table. And I was a horrible influence on her son.

My mother-in-law....before she was my mother-in-law....probably could have or should have shown concern when her son told her that we were planning a wedding.....even though no shotguns were being held to his head.

She didn't ask to help out with anything that I can recall.....
she just did.

My mother-in-law has been married for over 40 years. She knows the definition of love is more than just a feeling.....it is a decision. Feelings are there. But it is the decisions that you do with those feelings that make or break a marriage. She is very good at making decisions that count.

I want to make decisions like she does.

And making decisions isn't even something that my mother-in-law is comfortable with. She would much rather defer things to those around her. She knows what she likes. And what she wants to see. But she is also sensitive to those around her and those she cares about. Opening her mind and attitude is something she doesn't just do because she is well mannered. She sees it as an adventure.

Doesn't everyone want a little adventure?

My mother-in-law is good with children. Not just her own. Her influence on young lives goes far beyond anything she probably cares to comprehend. Teachers influence lives. Teachers change lives. Teachers who care are remembered. Generations are influenced because of mothers who care. Generations in circles beyond the realm of comprehension are influenced because of teachers who care.

The influence of my mother-in-law has gone far beyond the perimeters of her home. Her loving care and love for teaching has touched the lives of those whose lives were influenced by her presence in the classroom. And because a lot of these children now have children of their own.....there is no telling how many people have experienced the special touch of my mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law is a fighter.

She probably never had to conjure up this trait until the last few years of her life. A couple of years ago she was in a battle with cancer that we (and she) thought she had beat.

Except that she never called it a fight or battle. She called it a journey.

That "journey" has come back and with a vengeance.

I have no doubt that the last few months for my mother-in-law will someday be chronicled by her as just another journey.

I have no doubt that these last few months for my husband and his siblings will also be stashed away in the brain as another journey in life as well.

But here is what I will always remember.....

My mother-law loves.
My mother-in-law loves her life.
My mother-in-law loves her family.
My mother-in-law can fight.
My mother-in-law fights for what she loves.

She chooses her battles carefully.
And she wins.

Her body doesn't necessarily have a winning look right now. But the look it does have is one of determination. Of victory.

And that is beautiful.

I didn't just name one of my daughters after my mother-in-law because I was trying to be nice.


Well....Okay...I was. I chose my daughter, marisa's name. Marisa Arline Paulsen is named after Aunt Maria, Aunt Lisa (combine the 2 names to get marisa) and Arline....the name of my mother-in-law.

How lucky am I? What an example my mother-in-law is to all those around her. What an example of love, of faith, of virtue and of determination she is to those looking in on her.

And we are all standing on the sidelines....giving a big cheer for the woman who can and will come out on top. And even come out (being the vicious defeater that she is)looking good.

I hope I always come out looking like my mother-in-law.

Or as I like to refer to her.....

mother-in-love

Lord, hear my prayer.