Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Whoopie Cushions & Walmart, Poop & the Swimming Pool
Last Friday afternoon my mom called and wanted to know if the kids could come spend the night. "All of them?"...I wondered. Yep, all of them?
I had to think for about point-zero-two seconds...."Um, sure! Do you want them waiting on your front door step when you get home or should I wait?"
Just kidding about that last part. I do love having the kids home during the day. But there have been a couple of moments when I could have made a very good arguement for drinking before noon.
So while the kids were at Grandma's, I put on some make-up and purfume and we headed off for Davenport. The plan was to catch a late movie, which meant we had time to stop at Walmart and pick up a few things. One of which was a birthday gift for one of Claire and Danielle's friends. THe other was kotex.
Walmart had some 80's mood music playing over the speakers, which must have sent Fred into some sort of reminicent-walking-coma. After picking my needed products off the shelf, I turned to find Fred nowhere in sight. So I am walking like ALL OVER the store trying to find him and trying not to look like I had a box of pads in one hand and tampons in the other. I think I covered well by trying to get into the hits from the 80's as I cruised down 14 aisles in the store.
At least I knew the song. And I was wearing lipstick. Nobody probably even noticed what I was trying to hide because they were too busy wondering which institution I escaped from.
I eventually found my husband, who, by the way, knew EVERY song played over the speakers, and we shopped in the toy section. We did find a great gift, but I can't remember what it was because we also found some self-inflating whoopie cushions that we (Fred) couldn't put down. So I bought him one. And 2 more just to have on hand. You never know.
After farting all over the store, and laughing out loud, we made it to the parking lot where we decided we were just too old and tired to go to the late movie. We opted instead for a leisurely meal at Applebees.
Guess what kind of music was playing at Applebees.
I can honestly say that after having a couple of drinks I was actually getting into the 80's music. I even started like....totally reverting back to that, like, you-know, 80's slang. I only wish I had teased my bangs for the full effect.
At least I was wearing purfume and lipstick.
In other exciting news....we've been like totally (sorry, it takes a minute to get out of that 80's slang-mode) enjoying hanging out at the pool. I was wondering how long it would take before we had our first "accident" and what kind it would be.
3rd visit to the pool.....and #2 was the accident.
Luckily not IN the pool.
Danielle learned that she just can't squeeze her cheeks tight enough while she is running to the bathroom for it to be effective.
Like they say....Live and Learn.
And if you're a member of our family....LAUGH!
That's it for now. Come visit my blog soon where I will more than likely discuss body parts, noises and other gross stuff that is apparently a normal occurence in our house.
Unless of course you would rather pick poop up off of a poorly lit public restroom floor.....skip this site altogether.
I had to think for about point-zero-two seconds...."Um, sure! Do you want them waiting on your front door step when you get home or should I wait?"
Just kidding about that last part. I do love having the kids home during the day. But there have been a couple of moments when I could have made a very good arguement for drinking before noon.
So while the kids were at Grandma's, I put on some make-up and purfume and we headed off for Davenport. The plan was to catch a late movie, which meant we had time to stop at Walmart and pick up a few things. One of which was a birthday gift for one of Claire and Danielle's friends. THe other was kotex.
Walmart had some 80's mood music playing over the speakers, which must have sent Fred into some sort of reminicent-walking-coma. After picking my needed products off the shelf, I turned to find Fred nowhere in sight. So I am walking like ALL OVER the store trying to find him and trying not to look like I had a box of pads in one hand and tampons in the other. I think I covered well by trying to get into the hits from the 80's as I cruised down 14 aisles in the store.
At least I knew the song. And I was wearing lipstick. Nobody probably even noticed what I was trying to hide because they were too busy wondering which institution I escaped from.
I eventually found my husband, who, by the way, knew EVERY song played over the speakers, and we shopped in the toy section. We did find a great gift, but I can't remember what it was because we also found some self-inflating whoopie cushions that we (Fred) couldn't put down. So I bought him one. And 2 more just to have on hand. You never know.
After farting all over the store, and laughing out loud, we made it to the parking lot where we decided we were just too old and tired to go to the late movie. We opted instead for a leisurely meal at Applebees.
Guess what kind of music was playing at Applebees.
I can honestly say that after having a couple of drinks I was actually getting into the 80's music. I even started like....totally reverting back to that, like, you-know, 80's slang. I only wish I had teased my bangs for the full effect.
At least I was wearing purfume and lipstick.
In other exciting news....we've been like totally (sorry, it takes a minute to get out of that 80's slang-mode) enjoying hanging out at the pool. I was wondering how long it would take before we had our first "accident" and what kind it would be.
3rd visit to the pool.....and #2 was the accident.
Luckily not IN the pool.
Danielle learned that she just can't squeeze her cheeks tight enough while she is running to the bathroom for it to be effective.
Like they say....Live and Learn.
And if you're a member of our family....LAUGH!
That's it for now. Come visit my blog soon where I will more than likely discuss body parts, noises and other gross stuff that is apparently a normal occurence in our house.
Unless of course you would rather pick poop up off of a poorly lit public restroom floor.....skip this site altogether.
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